Beanie's journey

So this is my first entry, and hopefully the 1st of many. I have actually just spent the past 30 mins writing it but have appeared to loose it when trying to upload it, so you'll have to bear with me with this technology thing.

So the past month has been a bit of a roller coaster. Total shock/excitement/panic when doing the test and realising everything worked and we might just be parents! Will always think of you Eleanor as it was on the way home from your wedding I got it in my head that we had to do a test. I was only a day late but for some reason I knew I just had to do it. And then the guilt I felt when I realised how much alcohol we drank on your hen weekend and the wedding when this poor little thing was trying to start growing. I have been assured by numerous people this won't affect the beanie.

First scare were due to the pains I had right by my appendix scar. They got progressively worse so I saw the doctor who booked me for an emergency scan and I had convinced myself by then that it was an eptopic pregnancy. Fortuneately everything was okay - we had to have an internal scan as it was so early so all we could see was a black bean with a little heart fluttering away - incredible. The doc had dated me at 6 weeks but the scan man said I wasn't that far gone, so I think our initial due date of 18th August might get put back a week.

Second scare was a few days later when I started having some brown spotting. Now I know this is common and usually nothing to worry about but I also read it can be a sign of miscarriage or imminnet miscarriage. So I rang the doc again (she is a grumpy old bag you know) who instructed me to rest and don't go to work. Fortuneately I was still on school hols. Anyway that cleared up about 5 days later so fingers crossed.

We have our 10 week dating scan on January 26th and I can't wait!

I was totally unprepared for the way I would feel these first few months - roll on 12 weeks when you're supposed to feel better. Constant nausea is not pleasant and I have forgotten what it feels like to really enjoy a meal. My boobies feel like they are being prodded with red hot irons and have got a lot bigger already. Poor George accidentally knocked them the other night and I was ready to file for divorce. And the tiredness - I have no energy but then I'm not sleeping at all well at the moment either.

But I wouldn't change any of this for a healthy baby at the end. Every day I feel a little bit more confident that everything will be ok and allow myself to daydream a bit about what our baby will look like and how much our lives will change.

And I must just say at this point that George has been a godsend - admittedly it's his fault I'm in this 'state'  but he has the patience of a saint, and if you thought I was high maintenance before..... I haven't been allowed to clean the house, do the shopping, make the lunches, cook dinner, do the ironing etc for a month now. I hope it lasts.......But if he didn't do it, then neither of us would be eating anything as I can't touch or deal with food at the moment - the smell yuk yuk yuk!